What am I to you? (subtitle: less than a housepet)

I look into your eyes sometimes and I quickly look away.  I see how you look at me.  What am I to you?

The way you hug your animals.  Carry them around.  Squeeze them.  Rub their bellies.  You love them.  You cuddle them.  They warm your heart.

I caught a glimpse of that.  I experienced it only for a brief moment.  But your mind was somewhere else.  The perfect concoction of chemicals twisting your thoughts.  We held each other.  We laughed.  But it passed.  Morning came.  The chemicals successfully leaving your body like a hangover.  I will always remember that night differently then you.  Because for a fleeting moment, I meant everything to you.  And it felt so real.

I chase you around.  Beg for your attention.  Like the pet that won't leave you alone.  And you tolerate me.  You pat me on the head.  I bring you things.  Cook for you.  Try to surprise you.  And sometimes you let me have my way.

But I will always be at arms reach.  Never in your heart.

In the twilight hours.  Before your mind is awake.  I embrace you.  And sometimes you pull me toward you before you wake up.  I wonder who I am to you then.  With your back to me.  My arms wrapped tightly around you.  What man in your life do I become in your mind?

And then it's gone.  You are up getting your coffee.  Obsessively scanning over the same facebook posts over and over.  Looking for a mental escape from me.

I am your platonic lover.  And as much as I try, I will never be your pet.